Just recently, I realized that I am having a selective amnesia. And it is so weird that I am having this abnormality only in one particular aspect—happiness.
I feel so stupid to keep on thinking that I am satisfied with what I do everyday for the past month. I am like a fool making myself believe that it is just but normal to have a monotonous practice, to force yourself to love something you initially are not interested in, to keep yourself in a very low profile when you know for a fact that you can definitely shine.
If I am to describe my life right now, I would not say that happiness always gets on my way. Actually, it seems to be out of reach most of the time, to the point that I am already getting used to this setup. I am just thankful that I have my family and friends to remind me what happiness is. It is just so difficult for me to experience the contention between my mind and my feelings. My personality is so strong that it easily accepts the challenge of my brain. So it looks as if I am currently having this internal explosion that will soon produce a malignant hemorrhoid (if only there is such a thing).
Am I happy? I think. Therefore I am. Mind over matter, they say.
I feel so stupid to keep on thinking that I am satisfied with what I do everyday for the past month. I am like a fool making myself believe that it is just but normal to have a monotonous practice, to force yourself to love something you initially are not interested in, to keep yourself in a very low profile when you know for a fact that you can definitely shine.
If I am to describe my life right now, I would not say that happiness always gets on my way. Actually, it seems to be out of reach most of the time, to the point that I am already getting used to this setup. I am just thankful that I have my family and friends to remind me what happiness is. It is just so difficult for me to experience the contention between my mind and my feelings. My personality is so strong that it easily accepts the challenge of my brain. So it looks as if I am currently having this internal explosion that will soon produce a malignant hemorrhoid (if only there is such a thing).
Am I happy? I think. Therefore I am. Mind over matter, they say.
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