I ought to write something about the holiday season, but nothing is so special with my Christmas, even with my New Year. In fact, both of these most awaited times of this year have no impact to me. Nothing is exceptional. Neither is merry nor happy. I am just certain that they are already here for the television, papers, radio and internet project so. And also, at work, our rest days have become longer than the usual. But beyond these, nothing else helped me substantiate the spirit of the days I had been looking forward to each year before.
This year is really something. I can hardly go out to take a breather. When I say “go out” I mean doing things I used to do whenever Christmas vacation comes (i.e. watching MMFF movies, ‘leisurely’ strolling around the mall, going to everyone else’ Christmas parties, spending time in a coffee shop with my old classmates and friends). Instead, I just locked myself up in my room, and frittered my time watching television shows and DVD’s, surfing the internet, starting to read paperbacks (but not finishing them), eating, sleeping, and most importantly, contemplating.
I watched the year-ender special of ABS-CBN last night. Basically, I just needed something to make me fall asleep. But as each scene was flashed, I knew that the TV program was doing something more relevant than what I anticipated it to. It helped me refresh my memory on news and current affairs—aspects which were very relevant to me before (especially when I was still in UP), but are now rapidly becoming inconsequential in my way of living.
The Subic Rape Case was one of the topics in that special. I was quite shocked for I cannot believe that it has already been a year since Lance Corporal Daniel Smith was convicted. I still remember how GABRIELA fought for Nicole, who then symbolized the courage and the dignity of Filipino women. I still recall how we do RTR’s (room-to-room) and how we conduct fora, so as to update the UP community of how the case was doing. I can still think of how my voice cracked after shouting with or without using a megaphone just to lead the mass and agitate them to fight for one of the millions of victims of our government’s crooked policies. I can still imagine how dark my skin has turned out to be after all of those under-the-burning-sun demonstrations I participated in, just to express our disappointment with the state’s condition. I can still envision Nicole’s face when many people did not believe her, and tried pull her and her family down during the course of the case. I can still hark back to the times when I was well-informed on the issues our country was facing, to the point that I can readily explain and/or defend my side in front of a crowd.
Sir Michael Andrada, or Sir Mike as we call him, was featured in the show. He is a professor in the College of Arts and Letters (same college where I got my bachelor’s degree), and at the same time, I suppose still, a student taking up his MA. I never had a chance to be his student, but I am sure that he is intelligent and critical. He and his colleagues were very supportive of CAL Student Councils’ activities. I recall how he actively partook to our signature campaigns, class walk-outs, and protest rallies. We needed not to repeat ourselves if we asked favors from him, for he knew that our philosophies, objectives, and ideas were all in line.
Until now, Sir Mike is goal-oriented. I admire him for incessantly being nationalistic, and for not easily being demoralized. Aside from my professors from our department, he was one of those people who were convincing me to teach in UP as I take my MA up, instead of working outside the academe. As far as I can remember, we accidentally came across each other one afternoon in the entrance of the Faculty Center, a month or two after I graduated. He asked me about my plans, and I answered nothing else but just a sweet smile. I knew he recognized that I was still ambivalent so he expressed his thoughts, and encouraged me to pursue life within UP.
I chose to live my life outside UP, but I promised to be back after a year. However, this promise’s execution can only be determined by LAE. That is how manipulative it is now in my life. It will even manipulate if my future holiday seasons will mean something more, compared to this year’s.
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