I was deleting some craps in my email account when I discovered that I long failed to notice a very interesting forwarded message. Subject: “parang kayo pero di kayo”. One word immediately flashed in my mind—fling. And true enough, the mail was about it.
Fling, to Mr. Webster and his associates, is (1) vb. to throw forcefully, impetuously, or casually, (2) vb. to place or send suddenly and unceremoniously, (3) vb. to give unrestrainedly, (4) n. a casual try or involvement, (5) n. a casual or brief love affair, (6) n. a period devoted to self-indulgence. Based on what I understand, a fling is not actually a person (as the Philippine pop culture dictates so), but a situation where an individual gets to be romantically associated with someone, without having any commitment at all.
I just wonder why there must be an existent circumstance, such as flinging, when specificities can rightfully be declared. Nothing in this type of relationship can be demanded, thus making each party prone to heartaches. If a legal, formal and real relationship will not be feasible, why not lay the cards down right from the moment the impossibility is discovered? Why do we have to draw out complexities when we can be straightforward? Why do we have to allow people to look stupid of being hopefuls for nothing, when we can always let them go, and let them surmise their viable pleasing future? Why do we have to be unfair when we can always defy the prejudice? And fundamentally, why can we be satisfied with flinging, when we know for a fact that the bliss will vanish sooner or later?
There are a number of factors why couples stay in the flinging stage, instead of taking their relationships to the next level: (1) either or both of them already has/have existent romantic commitment(s), (2) either or both of them just want(s) to play around, (3) either or both of them is/are afraid to face obligations, (4) peer pressure, (5) family expectations, and (6) status differences.
Many of my friends say that they fling because of the fulfillment they acquire when they feel that someone they like cares for them. “Damn the boundaries”, they would always say. At least, they have experienced to be loved and be specially treated by someone dear to them. Their primary concern is their own happiness, so they would not mind if other people would already see them as evils.
Flinging can bring happiness to anyone who opens the door for it. And according to a prominent cliché, everyone deserves to be happy. But is it really gratifying to realize that some things are endangered when you get to be happy in flinging? Morally, of course it is not. But if we dig deeper, we see that some people have to be selfish sometimes to keep them on their journey track. Nevertheless, no matter how long this journey could get, in the end, individuals still have to be rational. And being rational means learning to face the consequences resulted by being once selfish.
Fling, to Mr. Webster and his associates, is (1) vb. to throw forcefully, impetuously, or casually, (2) vb. to place or send suddenly and unceremoniously, (3) vb. to give unrestrainedly, (4) n. a casual try or involvement, (5) n. a casual or brief love affair, (6) n. a period devoted to self-indulgence. Based on what I understand, a fling is not actually a person (as the Philippine pop culture dictates so), but a situation where an individual gets to be romantically associated with someone, without having any commitment at all.
I just wonder why there must be an existent circumstance, such as flinging, when specificities can rightfully be declared. Nothing in this type of relationship can be demanded, thus making each party prone to heartaches. If a legal, formal and real relationship will not be feasible, why not lay the cards down right from the moment the impossibility is discovered? Why do we have to draw out complexities when we can be straightforward? Why do we have to allow people to look stupid of being hopefuls for nothing, when we can always let them go, and let them surmise their viable pleasing future? Why do we have to be unfair when we can always defy the prejudice? And fundamentally, why can we be satisfied with flinging, when we know for a fact that the bliss will vanish sooner or later?
There are a number of factors why couples stay in the flinging stage, instead of taking their relationships to the next level: (1) either or both of them already has/have existent romantic commitment(s), (2) either or both of them just want(s) to play around, (3) either or both of them is/are afraid to face obligations, (4) peer pressure, (5) family expectations, and (6) status differences.
Many of my friends say that they fling because of the fulfillment they acquire when they feel that someone they like cares for them. “Damn the boundaries”, they would always say. At least, they have experienced to be loved and be specially treated by someone dear to them. Their primary concern is their own happiness, so they would not mind if other people would already see them as evils.
Flinging can bring happiness to anyone who opens the door for it. And according to a prominent cliché, everyone deserves to be happy. But is it really gratifying to realize that some things are endangered when you get to be happy in flinging? Morally, of course it is not. But if we dig deeper, we see that some people have to be selfish sometimes to keep them on their journey track. Nevertheless, no matter how long this journey could get, in the end, individuals still have to be rational. And being rational means learning to face the consequences resulted by being once selfish.
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